Tuesday, February 28, 2017

File Names

"Come here Dot Rar.  Play nice with Dot Zip."

"Good ol' Mov and Avi."

Alphabet Names

"My name is M."
"What's it short for?"
"Fourteen Ms"

Foety The Baby

MH:  It's going to be nutty.
DT:  I'm pretty sure it's a baby.

Contract End

"You know what Sony's gonna be when I leave?  Horizon Zero Don."

Dabbing

"Your mother's ashes.  Show me."
"Which direction?"
"In the direction of swag."

Dragons

"One dragon please."
"... Uh, sir, we don't sell dragons..."
"One dragon please.  I don't care if it's Prime."
"But..."
"I'm Crispin Glover."

It Tasted Like Gasoline

"Prison Dave was pretty bad."

Clefts

"If you kidnapped a bunch of those people, you'd be a cleftomaniac."

Blue Whales

"It's like their mustaches evolved into teeth."

Melons

DT:  If you killed someone with a melon, would it be a melony?
AY: His wife would be... melon..choly...

Your Toilets Are On Fire

"Hot flush potato."

I Don't Know What Babies Eat

"Here's a burger and some Bud Light?"

Friday, February 10, 2017

Things From The Deep

"Ocean is like one big scary hole."

Dev Cycle

"Baby's first crunch."

In The Army

"Bring your child to Afghanistan Day!"

"Wait, is your dad a helicopter... pilot?"

"Flying a helicopter tank is easy.. But a normal helicopter.."

What Do We Say to the Lighting God?

"Not today."

Mr. Burger is Making a Mess Out of Me

"I'm trying to have an intimate relationship with Mr. Burger."

A New Pokemon

"Lobons, Semilobons, and then Lobex."

Winning The Lottery

"Remember that time you sat three seats away from me at lunch?  How about that money..?"

Son, We Rolled You a Juicer

"Avi's always Jew'sing."

Attribute Points

"I'd re-spec Career to make more money."

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Reverse Hulk

"You won't mind me when I'm angry!"

Sleepless

"I can't sleep!  I can't nap!  I can't doze!  It's all gone!"

Worst Punemy

DT:  He's really going to Klingon to it..
AY:  He's going to need a lot of Kli... nex for it.
DT:  Oh, goddamnit!

Our Legacies

"When my children bury me, they'll be like, 'I'm glad that sick fuck is dead.'"

Wasabi is Weaponized Mustard

"The most delicious death ever."

"Show us your wasabi glands."

Storage

"You don't know what's too far back in scary hole."

You Melt Cheese to Drink?

"It just burns your throat hole."

I Fucking Hate Carrying Things

"It's practicing for the gym."