Douchebags

"Every country has a Snookie."

How to be Funny

"Just imagine you are Zack Galaphanakis."

A Comment Regarding Great Acting

"It was like I was raped in the eyeball."

Kissing

"You don't kiss because you want saliva in your mouth."

Shaken, Not Stirred

"Why does everything have to be about Sean Connery?"

A Serious Discussion About Relationships

[Jersey accent] "Heeey, I have sex with her once a month, why would she want to cheat on me??"

An E-mail to a Producer

"And by boobs, I mean coat tails."

The Opposite of Bitter and Cynical

"You are a bunny wrapped in a baby chicken."

Beep Boop

I drew R2D2 flipping my co-worker the bird.