Old Timey Memes

"Tipping his hat to m'madam, m'lady."

Ragin' Cajun

"The great sauce crash of 2017."

Animating Birds

"Drop and give me fifty birds!"

What Does It Smell Like?

"Heirloom-grade bisque'poke brown bag."

Basements

"They're so great at storing spiders."

Shaking Trudeau's Hand

"I wish it wasn't like touching the Canadian underwear model unicorn pope but it was."

Execute Some Art

"What if you did a piece where you sit and don't masterbate?"

"You surround yourself with the blank canvases to provoke yourself but then you just don't."

I Fucked Up The Guac

"I'm not scheduled for any fucking chips, Mike."

I Like Prisma

"It's oddly satisfying. Just like a swirly poop."

Meeting Room Bookings

"Mike H.  Pooing.  3pm to 5pm."

Colleagues

"Let's wait for Tom.  We like him."

300 Years From Now Will Be Terrible

"We were born in the perfect time.  Before the future hell, and after the previous hell."

Personal Transport Pods

• Mobile gym you can work out in while you commute.
• The sunroof opens and allows for a shower during your workout.
• The pod fills up with curry so you can eat.
• "There'll be a bunch of naked people flying around in pods."

Decadent Poop Puré

"Heirloom-grade, bespoke poop in a can."

I'm In A Fuck Drought

"With every passing week, the fields in which I sow my fucks grows thinner and thinner."

Without Bagels, What Is Life?

Breaking news out of Playa… Facilities has informed me that today’s Bagel Friday is temporarily being changed to No Bagel Friday.  No back story just yet, as the story is just developing.  But we are told something went awry, robbing us of bagel goodness on this day.

Regular bagel programming should resume next week.

Thoughts and prayers…

LA Parking Lots

"You haven't lived until you've died in a parking lot."