Bra Tricks at the Bus Stop

"She's working hard for your meat token."

Well, this is awkward

"That's awesome!  I mean... I didn't mean that your grandma's boobs are I awesome, I just meant... I gotta go."

I Forgot How We Got Here

"I've probably spent more time touching myself than a girl has spent touching someone else's penis."

Bird is the word

"Do any of you guys know any good falconers?"

Yo Dawg

"I heard crunching is fun so I made visual studio crash so you crunch some time while you're crunching..."

Get Your Tickets Here!

"Punch an animator in the face: $50" Designers and producers will queue up for a miles.

Living The Dream

"I just want to abuse myself and be abused by others while having health insurance good enough to ensure my life of suffering is as long as possible."

I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up

"We can be kids because we're adults!"

Make Game Better

"I can do anything... But it's impossible."

Need More Unicorns

"Marketing has concluded we need 40% more unicorns."

"I can't give you a unicorn but if you agree, I won't drown these kittens! Fair trade?"

Games Vs.

"Masturbation is our biggest competition."

Whose Fault Is It?

"What if the bee was in a coma, and I was holding it and you ran into it?  Did I sting you or did the bee sting you?"

"I would buy you a 50 million dollar ring."
"But you could buy a panda with that money!"

Do Your Job

"Because customer service here is like making a pass at someone's mom."

Roady Run

"I don't think the problem is his arms.  I think the problem is his body.  And his arms."

Come Look At This

Me:  The reason why I toned down the torso was because I hate the rotation on it.  I hate it, I fucking hate it.
Wi:  Tell me how you really feel.
Me:  I hate it.
Wi:  Why don't you tell me how you really feel?
Me:  I love it, I love it so much.
Wi:  Would you marry it?
Me:  I would marry it.
Wi:  Would you marry it twice?
Me:  I'd marry it twice.  I'd marry it, divorce it, then marry it again.
Wi:  And then you'd have hate babies.
Me:  I'd have hate babies with twisted torso rotations and short arms.

That Ass

"I hate it when his butt sticks out like this.  But then I'm good at fixing it, I'm like, 'Aww yeah, I'll fix that butt.'"

Detonate this!

"you should have blown him against the window"

I Would Be A Terrible Gay Man

"I can't fit big things in my mouth."

Who's Allan?

First this: http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/wbkz8/looks_like_someone_at_eidos_didnt_do_their_job/

Then this at work regarding rumours of a Kane & Lynch movie:

Gatekeepers

"There is no art in the world that cannot be ruined by code."

Play Session

"I turned him off and it's still poking me."

Animation Meetings

"Don't spoon me."

Hanging Lights

"It's a little like shower sex"

Pfft, Programmers

"Animators are so much cooler!"

Post Game

"Like sex on a shirt."

Oldschool

"We're Vikings of the games industry! Raping and pillaging deadlines!"

Foot to Mouth

"I have a short upper body... Just putting it out there."

Dancing Like An Aussie

"I like dancing because it makes my boobs feel wobbly."

Weapon Designers

"I don't want to be teabagged."
"You'll learn to like it."

Bike

"My bike loves hugging dicks."

Where Babies Come From

"Get the birthing stick!"

Talking to Designers

"I'm not even on the food chain."

Tasty Friday

"I can't hear you, Thomas. I'm busy building my burger."

Except Here

"One does not simply code for AI!"

Swayze

"I like Patrick Swayze's balls. So shiny."

Non-Atkins

"My diet is carbon-based."

White Men Can't Dance

"There's white, and then there's Danish."

Gastro-Intestinal Surgeons Are...

"I am the ultimate ass man."

Magic

"And then take a picture of me holding my water of glass."

Double Standards

"If a hot guy poured it down my throat."

How To Get Into The Games Industry

1. Buy a gun
2. Steal a car
3. Try to run
4. Don't get far
5. Work in games.

Simon's Metaphor of the Day #1

"But I'm not done wiping!"

Cake

Fine, I'l throw my own party, with my own cake, in my own mouth.

Diff'rent Strokes for Diff'rent Codes

A: Is there anythign else we can drop?  Like, we can drop cheese but we can't drop bacon?
W: The bacon was taken out of the game a while back.  The cheese is deadly enough on its own.
A: The bacon took three coders seven years to code. That's why it was removed.

Breast Feeding Could Save the World

"Yeah, daddy's the same."

New Mom

"Yeah! The milk bar is back!"

What Science is For

The best chicken would be born featherless, lay fried eggs, shit gravy, roll in batter, and jump into a deep fryer.

Jesus, the Teenage Years

"Son, you've been in there for a long time now. You know your dad told you you'll go blind if you do that!"

"Stop turning the water into wine!"

"I never knew my father!"

"Fuck you, mom!"

Package for You

"I only checked this today because I opened up a package at work to find the dead skin of a unicorn."

Allergies

Right now I have like a pressure bubble right here and I'm waiting for it to get to the point where it creates a pop inside my face.

Just Checking In

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Male/Female Animator Salaries

"The difference in salary would cover the costs of the surgery."

Twilight

"It's not an action movie, it's sparkly vampire porn."

I Must Inform You

‎"I have really hot farts."

Footage Loose

Another example of why Animators are Awesome!

Just Not the Same

"Martin has a special banana."

I Misheard You #12

"Can I have one or two of your peanus?" [sic]

Aussie Fashion Sense

"I just want to wear what I normally wear, and normally I don't wear a lot of clothes."

Let Me Explain How Games Are Made

"When a producer and a designer love each other, they get together and make an engine.  Sometimes this takes years and years."

What Would I Use This For?

"There's a pickup in 4B called titty grease."

Let Me Goggle That For You

Animation Optimization

"One animation to rule them all."

Sneezing

"It's a conspiracy in my face."

Thought It, Didn't Say It

"He's complaining again, but there's nothing I can do to calm his storm."

Getting Latest

S: I'm going to kill and sync.
W: Why don't you like Justin Timberlake?

Warm fuzzy feelings

"...but he put a smiley face in there! What more could you want?"

Salma Hayek

"Now I have to go and boil my dinosaur."

Naming the Floors

"I'm looking for Will."
"Oh, he's up on Simon."

"I need to go down on Ronnie."

Closer

"I feel like I have to close the gap and be closer to the chips."

Blasphemy

"Looks like a dingo mauled your pizza!"

Logic

"Well if everybody is going to go, then everybody will go."

Orange

"You're turning into a Danish girl."

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

"You have to multitask. Eat cake while in the shower."

Learning to Snowboard

"This is my favourite position."

The French

"You don't carry your suitcase, you make love to it."

There Can Only Be Ronnie

"Ronnie's the Four Horsemen."

Sprint Review Meeting

"He did it with his naked cock."

"As long as you don't want to put your cock on someone."

How to Sleep Sitting Up

"I wonder how many chins you need before you have a fat neck?"

Male Nipples

Paternity Leave

"If something that big comes out of my vagina, I'm keeping it!"

.. somewhere..

"I heard somebody say something smart at some point.."

Relevant to Game Development

"He IS a capricorn.."

Beckham

"He's just a piece of meat and I'm a carnivore."

Sneezes

"Get out of my face!"

Desserts

"Sequences should all be chocolate sprinkles."

What's Going On?

"Seems like there's baby-making juice in the water."

Blood Oranges

"I dunno, it's kinda like a taste journey."

Thursday's Task

"I'm doing the cop, if you know what I mean."

The only job in the world that...

"There is no other job in the world that when you go to an interview they ask  'Your production work is okay but do you have any cool animations you've been working on in your spare time that we can see?'. Why is the expectation that you have to eat/sleep/animate 24/7 just to get by in this industry? Image that you are a Doctor and the interviewer asked you in an interview 'So do you have any examples of open heart surgery that you've done in your spare time, like in the street on some homeless guy?' or an accountant 'Your business accounts seems to be in order, but I really want to see how you tackle your home expenses.' Apparently animators get judged by very different rules.

Battle of the Meats

"There's going to be a battle in my mouth.  It's going to be a racist meat battle.  The dark meat is all the way in the back."

How Bizarre

"No!  Shit, shit, no!"

I dare you to get latest!

"You are a Canadian chicken full of salmonella!"

Lack of Sassy Gay Friend

"I would love to have a friend I could call a bitch."