Christmas Ranting

"It's not like you could fill a theatre by showing them text."

Choices

"Some days, I'd rather be shot at."

Skyrim

"You cannot loot in beast form."

Blue Cheese

"I sense it like Highlanders sense each other."

More Flavour to Mouth

"God saw ranch dip and decided to make broccoli."

Pasta Talk

"Screws aren't fun."

What Would Ronnie Do #1

"If I made a game it would kick Max Payne in the balls."

Rigged and Ready

First Mom Joke

R:  Thank you for your help.
T:  It cost you $20 for me just coming over there.
R:  You can take it from your mother after I'm done with her.

The Office Second Wife

W: I've got a headache tonight, T.
T:  You always have a headache.  No means yes.

Savings

W: Guess what? We just saved a meg in memory!
S: By switching to Geico?

This Really Happened

You know you've been working too much when you wanna say, "I really need to get laid," and accidentally say, "I really need to get latest."

Communicator Drawings #2 or Belly Butt

Communicator Drawings #1

(Best to follow the link, then zoom in)

Game Design

"We want a pony!"

Bugs

Reproduction Rate: 1/1

Main Description:
Markus is still smoking despite having "quit smoking" again.

Reproduction steps:
1. Make more of E3 playable
2. Shut down Hansoft server temporarily
3. Go to roof og building
4. Observe Markus smoking

T and A.

Okay, let's do everything but the tickle adventures.

Outsourcing

If you do the tickling...internally...

Screw You Guys

"I'm going home... To the mall."

Flatulence

"My mind is farting."

Real Steal

"Why do they always have to ruin it by putting a story on something awesome?"

Sexism

W:  You're such a sexist.
F:  I'm being sexy.

I Misheard You #11

M:  Butt takes?
W:  Butt cakes?

Hansoft is a Killer

"I feel like I'm talking you down from a ledge."

"How badly do I need this job...?  ... I could be a clown."

"When I'm done this I should ask everyone if they need me to wipe their ass..."

Ninja Skills

"That cake kicked me in the back of the face."

Reconnected

"I'm going to right-click the internet and Save-As.  Estimated time:  A bazillion years."

Planet of the CG Apes

"It's nature, don't fuck with nature."

Reproduction Steps

1. Load any level.
2. Throw a punch into the air.
3. Notice the shame you feel over that animation.

Is Tears for Fears Coming?

"I need a depressive boost."

Yes, This Was Work-Related

"Is there a grip pose for the dildo?"

Hot for Teacher?

"There's a lot of girls I wouldn't kick out."

Animation Critique

"Simon doesn't know what he's talking about, he's got the pox!"

His Status Report

"I have to sit on his face."

I Bet Auditors Don't Have These Conversations

"What??  What kind of dildos are you using?"

Anatomy

T:  This reminds me of a mumu.
J:  What's a mumu?
T:  A woman's second ass-crack.

Peanut Butter on Rye Bread?!

"It's like you're molesting my mother right in front of me."

Food Transportation

"Rice and potatoes are just a vehicle to get flavour from the plate to your mouth."

Living to Eat

"My taste buds have been attending a metal concert for the last 34 years, whereas yours have just been listening to birds chirping."

Sucker Punch Part Deux

"Zack Schnyder can hug a dick!"

Boxing

W: "There's boobies on the side of this box."
J: "There may be boobies in the future."

How's It Hanging...

F: Will you do me the honor of supporting my rig?
C: What's that? The equivalent of a Danish reach-around?

Gym Buddies

"Things change, people get cats and move on with their lives."

I Misheard You #10

W:  If you don't do it, no one will.
M:  I don't drink no more?

Love

"I love all things motorized."

Automatic Automobiles

"You can't shift gears and press buttons at the same time."

What She Said

"You are not putting it anywhere 'til I see it."

That Was Short-Lived or I Misheard You #9

"Hot load?"

A Good Answer

W: Who has famously good boobs?
D: ...YES!

South Africa

"Re-fucking-public. We are not like Canada who has the queen's face on their money. We have fucking elephants."

Just Smile and Wave

"Rape? No don't worry."

Wood

"So much wood."

Details

"Part of my body was in her mouth, technically that counts as sex."

Cake to Mouth or I Misheard You #8

MA: You guys haven't even had the cake yet.
W: There is cake all up in my mouth, whatever.

The Plus Face

P: Why did you cut yourself?
WTF: On the plus face!

Meaning of life

D: Why are we here?
W: Why aren't we here?

She said...

"I don't understand girls sometimes."

2 Pirates, 1 Cup

"That pirate cup is a stolen cup that gives you syphilis."

Mac vs PC

"Sony products look like concept art from Star Wars."

Suckerpunch

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/suckerpunch/

"It's like coming in the face of human history."

"This is like streaking in a convent."

"There's a lot of things I'd rather run my genitals over."

S:  This movie has everything in it.
M:  Except story!

Analogy #2

You are like an Outlook meeting notification without the Dismiss button.

Draw Me a Bucket of Ass

"What did it look like?  Like a muffin of ass?"

Therefore

M:  This arm is ass.  I shouldn't f*ck with it.
W:  Stop f*cking with that ass.

My Hips Don't Lie

"But my ass lies about being Sean Connery all the time."

Human Warmth

"This isn't the early '90s anymore, nobody talks now."

Design By Ass

"It stinks like a bucket of ass."

Food Goes In Here

"I have a mouth if you need help eating."

That's a Nice Wii

"It's like coke at a party.  It's just a social lubricant."

Analogy #1

The snow is white like a fresh piece of A4 paper from the printer room, but not one that's been printed on.

6-Pack Smile

"So full of charm its like they punched you in the eyeball with some meat."

I Misheard You #7

M:  You're the networking dude.
W:  Did you just call me a gimp?

Biiiiyooooo!

"Who needs words when you've got sounds?"

Misheard #6

"You don't know who wants to be in a seahorse?"

I Misheard You #5

W:  Have you posted it yet?
M:  Bacon?

Battle Los Angeles

W:  Why would aliens want to invade Los Angeles?
M:  Why wouldn't they?
W:  They would just land there and be like, "Fail.."
M:  Los Angeles is full of attractive people.
W:  What would aliens want with big blonde boobs?
M:  What wouldn't they want with big blonde boobs?  What do you know about aliens?  Maybe they need them to fuel their motherships.

Falling from space

"Freefalling at 1000km/h must give you some serious speed wobble."

Google searches

"As long as all you are getting is cocks and stuff it's okay, right?

That Doesn't Sound Right

"Somebody messed up my male and female pre-fabs!"

Broken builds

"...f***ing communists!"

Another Piece of Asian Parental Advice

"No boyfriend until you're married!"

Tell Me About Denmark?

"You cannot be told what Denmark is, you have to experience for yourself."

Tiger Woods

"How many parents does he have?"

"Like.....5!"

Mothers

"Don't make me go Chinese Mother on you!"

Winter Layering

"I got sweet arm vents."