Real Steal

"Why do they always have to ruin it by putting a story on something awesome?"

Sexism

W:  You're such a sexist.
F:  I'm being sexy.

I Misheard You #11

M:  Butt takes?
W:  Butt cakes?

Hansoft is a Killer

"I feel like I'm talking you down from a ledge."

"How badly do I need this job...?  ... I could be a clown."

"When I'm done this I should ask everyone if they need me to wipe their ass..."

Ninja Skills

"That cake kicked me in the back of the face."